Society condemns girls like this. I would lie if I said that I’ve never formed a negative opinion of those girls who “function” as mistresses. But of course if a human being gains more experience, if life pushes the individual into unwanted circumstances which she has great difficulty to struggle her way out of, her opinion and view changes.

This happened to me too. I changed my opinion. Why should I condemn young women who – for whatever reason – got themselves into such an emotionally vulnerable state? Why should I condemn those who are making all the effort to turn the tide on their misfortune, but they cling onto their last ounce of hope and offer it up to the person who their hearts have chosen?

You can hear and read about girls who become mistresses purely for entertainment or for financial reasons. People often call these girls gold-diggers. But it’s not always like that. Actually several times it’s the exact opposite, but most of the time people learn about these cases through gossip or the media. It’s rare to shed light on the true reason why a girl ended up in this situation and what is the real role of the involved guy. Society doesn’t mull over a girl’s personal emotional crisis or the vulnerable state she finds herself in. Usually the exact opposite happens. The girl gets stigmatized and condemned by society. Having turned her life upside down she revoked herself the chance to a normal relationship; she has gradually lost her faith that someone in this life would respect and appreciate her once more.

More people would accept the explanation that some feelings are uncontrollable and at most, one can try to suppress them and resist their temptation with tremendous willpower. An average person is unable to succeed. From this point of view mistresses could be appraised differently. Many wives would be shocked if they knew the truth about their husbands. Some men living in marriages are able to sustain the appearance of contentment for weeks, months, or even years. I find this profoundly shocking and tragic.

A husband’s happy homecoming, the hugging of his wife and their reunion which symbolizes a united family; it’s all just an act. He wouldn’t be able to step in the door every evening feeling content and happy or to relieve his frustration with his own dysfunctional marriage if it wasn’t for his mistress who provides the excitement and rejuvenation in his boring, dreary married life. This lifestyle is extremely convenient and comfortable for him. He is able to reflect the image of a perfect, loving husband towards relatives, colleagues and society as a whole. At home he receives stability, secured by his family, and at the same time from his mistress he gets the regular emotional ecstasy, the pampering and the excitement.

Do you see how convenient this is for him? Do men behave like this without turning a hair? This depends on the person. Fortunately one can find many examples of lifelong love and faithfulness too, and several ex-mistresses find honest love in the end.

But please don’t forget to think about that girl differently if next time your paths cross. Do not condemn her straight away.

 

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